It’s been a super long time since I’ve written anything on here. The reason being, I’ve really just been enjoying some time with my favourite people and going with the flow of life.
But, as per usual, life has a funny way of putting you in situations that force you to grow up, or at least think about actually doing something with your life.
Everyone generally has an idea of how they’d like their life to plan out. I’ve kinda avoided planning mine out since I realised that things don’t always go to plan. So what is really the point of a plan, ya feel me?
But you know what? Not having a plan and then having to decide on one plan is the best for you QUICKLY is really fucked up, especially when you really have no real control over it. It’s that annoying ‘fork in the road’ ‘which road do I take’ type situation except you have to make an actual commitment to something you never saw coming. Like, ever.
This has happened to me. And to be honest, I am generally one for impulsive decision making, because the consequence doesn’t usually affect me all that much. But when you have to consider everyone in your life, and your important relationships – well, fuck.
In the end, my decision was impulsive, but in a way that didn’t directly affect my actual situation. Instead, I went with an old plan I used to have – one that has been sitting on the back-burner since I was 19 and I went with that, with the help of my lovely parentals.
Life is seriously scary sometimes. I don’t know how many times I’ve looked around and can see nothing in front of me (except maybe a pack of marlboro reds & a bottle of whiskey) and feeling completely isolated. But, sometimes, when you’re really struggling, people step into that odd grey cloud that hangs around you and they pull you out of it. Sometimes, its people you didn’t even think could see you or ever understand.
While this might all sound confusing as fuck, just remember that there will always be people there for you, even when you think and feel like you:
- Can do things alone (because you’re a tough little shit aren’t ya?)
- Feel completely alone
- Completely lost and feel out of control
I don’t like asking people for help, its one of my biggest weaknesses. But I’ve really learnt that it’s okay and it doesn’t make me less ‘Bad Jadé’. It just makes me human.
And, to be honest, crazy situations can bring some real truth and clarity into your life. It’s made me closer to so many people, even made me less afraid to trust and fall in love.
So cheers, universe. You fucked me again, but this time – I might rather enjoy it.